The World's Most Prestigous Power Poll: Week 4

This week’s edition of The Worlds’ Most Prestigious Power Poll is so prestigious it requires Secret Service protection. Read it, but don’t get too close.

01. Indianapolis Colts [3-0]: Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne haven’t lost a step. [NC]

02. New York Giants [3-0]: Plaxico who? [NC]

03. Baltimore Ravens [3-0]: The team 50 miles down the road should look here to see how a real NFL franchise is built. [NC]

04. Minnesota Vikings [3-0]: Last-second heroics is why they wanted Brett Favre. [NC]

05. New Orleans Saints [3-0]: Playing so well right now Drew Brees threw no TDs and the team still won by 20 points. [+1]

06. New York Jets [3-0]: Matt Sanchez became the first rookie in almost 40 years to win his first three games. [+2]

07. New England Patriots [2-1]: A convincing win over Atlanta rights the ship for a week. [+3]

08. Atlanta Falcons [2-1]: Michael Turner’s 3.5 ypc average not good enough if the Falcons are going to be an elite team. [-3]

09. San Diego Chargers [2-1]: No LaDainian and no Phillip Rivers TD passes = no problem. [NC]

10. Dallas Cowboys [2-1]: Rushing attack is second to none, but there’s no spark in the passing game. [+1]

11. Philadelphia Eagles [2-1]: Michael Vick didn’t complete any passes, but he also didn’t kill any dogs so the Eagles call that a win. [+2]

12. San Francisco 49ers [2-1]: Outplayed the Vikings for 59 minutes without Frank Gore. Mike Singletary is building a real team ahead of schedule. [NC]

13. Cincinnati Bengals [2-1]: One fluky tipped pass away from 3-0. [+5]

14. Green Bay Packers [2-1]: The Green Bay aerial attack is back, as Aaron Rodgers averaged over 20 yards per completion against the Rams. [+5]

15. Pittsburgh Steelers [1-2]: A division title could slip away easily, as the defending champs are already 2 games behind the awesome Ravens. [-6]

16. Chicago Bears [2-1]: Jay Cutler is coming around nicely but the defense looks lost without Brian Urlacher. [NC]

17. Denver Broncos [3-0]: Got a lucky, fluky win over the Bengals and then easy wins over Cleveland and Oakland. The least impressive 3-0 team I’ve ever seen. [+6]

18. Arizona Cardinals [1-2]: Last year’s Super Bowl run a distant memory as Bill Bidwell’s team returns to form. [-4]

20. Seattle Seahawks [1-2]: Return of Matt Hasselbeck should have Seattle back in the division hunt. [+5]

19. Buffalo Bills [1-2]: Offense really struggling without Marshawn Lynch. [-4]

21. Tennessee Titans [0-3] Secondary getting bombed more often than the Saddam’s Republican Guard. [-4]

22. Jacksonville Jaguars [1-2]: Maurice Jones Drew + Houston defense = many touchdowns. [+5]

23. Houston Texans [1-2]: Defense to be replaced by wicker outdoor dining set. [+1]

24. Detroit Lions [1-2]: Elation over first win since the reign of Hammurabi tempered by the knowledge that they have no more games against the Redskins this season. [+8]

25. Washington Redskins [1-2]: Obama administration should see if they can get Dan Snyder put in charge of the Iranian nuclear weapons program. [-5]

26. Carolina Panthers [0-3]: Bill Cowher’s name now painted in head coach’s parking space at practice facility. [-4]

27. Miami Dolphins [0-3]: Tough schedule beat this team up early. Loss of Chad Pennington for the season should finish the job. [-6]

28. Oakland Raiders [1-2]: Passes thrown by Jamarcus Russell about as likely to hit the target as passes thrown by Stevie Wonder. [-2]

29. Kansas City Chiefs [0-3]: Watching this team get blown out in December when it is 10 degrees below zero sure will be fun for the home team. I predict a lot of empty chairs will be invited to Chiefs games. [-1]

30. St. Louis Rams [0-3]: The good news: Only 13 more games to play. The bad news: Must play those 13 games. [+1]

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [0-3]: Fired the guy who calls the plays and just fired the guy who runs the plays [Byron Leftwich]. Also, I notice they’re playing a daring defense that doesn’t involve covering wide receivers. [-1]

32. Cleveland Browns [0-3]: Each game is a loss, each loss is a blowout, and 5 players have filed grievances against head coach Eric Mangini. Return of the Mistake on the Lake. [-3]

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