The World's Most Prestigious Power Poll: Week 6

After watching 5 weeks of NFL football, The World’s Most Prestigious Power Poll has come to two conclusions:

1. The two best teams in the NFC East should just play each other in the Super Bowl;
2. Norv Turner has embarrassing photos of some powerful people.

01. New York Giants [4-0]: It’s a cupcake schedule so far, but at least they’re devouring those cupcakes. Sunday’s 44-6 stomping of the Seahawks was a message to Plaxico Burress: “You need us more than we need you.” [+1]
02. Tennessee Titans [5-0]: Got a lucky ref’s call to beat the Ravens. [-1]
03. Washington Redskins [4-1]: Over 200 rushing yards on the road agains the #1 rush defense in the entire NFL? Now, that’s the way a Joe Gibbs Jim Zorn offense is supposed to look! [+1]
04. Dallas Cowboys [4-1]: Did you know that Terrell Owens cried on the sidelines after scoring a TD last Sunday? Hey, suck it up, T.O. I also feel like crying when you score a TD, but I hold it inside like a man.  [+1]
05. Buffalo Bills [4-1]: When asked, during a postgame press conference, what it was like to sustain a concussion on the field, QB Trent Edwards responded with a bizarre rant against the Cookie Monster. [-2]
06. Pittsburgh Steelers [4-1]: Win in Jacksonville was a statement game. [NC]
07. Carolina Panthers [4-1]: The best team no one is talking about. [NC]
08. New England Patriots [3-1]: Bill Belichick now using spies to videotape his own team’s practices. [+6]
09. Denver Broncos [4-1]: Defense only looks good against Brian Griese. [+2]
10. Chicago Bears [3-2]: For years the one thing holding this team back was the quarterback. Kyle Orton has committed 6 turnovers, but he’s also thrown 7 TD and has a passer rating of 87.6. With decent quarterback play, the Bears could run away with this division. [+6]
11. Philadelphia Eagles [2-3]: Uh-oh, trouble. Brian Westbrook has 2 broken ribs, but the offense is so lousy without him that he will try to play this week against a no-incredibly-awful 49ers team. [-2]
12. Baltimore Ravens [2-2]: One bad ref’s call away from knocking off the unbeaten Titans. [+1]
13. Jacksonville Jaguars [2-3]: It’s trouble when a team bases its entire game plan every week on running the ball and then loses its best run-blocking offensive linemen to injury. [-1]
14. Indianapolis Colts [2-2]: One of the greatest comebacks in NFL history against the Texans obscures the fact that this team can’t play defense and isn’t very good right now. [+5]
15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [3-2]: Brian Griese is questionable with an elbow injury and Bucs fans should hope he’s a slow healer. [-5]
16. Arizona Cardinals [3-2]: The NFC West is theirs for the taking [which is rather like holding a winning lottery ticket worth $4.15], but injury to Anquan Boldin could be a real problem. [+5]
17. Atlanta Falcons [3-2]: QB Matt Ryan is my early favorite for Rookie of the Year. [+7]
18. New York Jets [2-2]: Jets players spent bye week hanging out in bars and telling women they play for the Giants. [NC]
19. Miami Dolphins [2-3]: Have now beaten last year’s AFC Championship game teams [Patriots and Chargers] in their last two games. [+7]
20. San Diego Chargers [2-3]: We have an answer to that eternal question: Yes, it is time to fire Norv Turner. [-12]
21. Minnesota Vikings [2-3]: Won Monday night game despite absence of anything even vaguely resembling an offense. [+2]
22. New Orleans Saints [2-3]: Rarely have I seen a team so completely devoted to their own destruction as the Saints on Monday night. [-7]
23. Green Bay Packers [2-3]: The Brett Favre saga has drawn attention away from the fact that one of last year’s best defenses is one of this year’s worst. [-6]
24. San Francisco 49ers [2-3]: After 20 sacks in 5 games, QB J.T. O’Sullivan was added to the Endangered Species List late Sunday night. [-2]
25. Cleveland Browns [1-3]: QB Derek Anderson spent bye week looking for prime spots on the sideline bench. [NC]
26. Seattle Seahawks [1-3]: NFL Competition Committee has approved Seattle’s proposal to forfeit all games played west of the Mississippi River. [-6]
27. Oakland Raiders [1-3]: Local media puzzled after Al Davis called a press conference to announce he had fired the mayor of Oakland “for cause.” [NC]
28. Houston Texans [0-4]: Did Sage Rosenfels actually commit 3 turnovers in the last five minutes of the 4th quarter? Is that even possible? [NC]
29. Cincinnati Bengals [0-5]: Have played the Giants and Cowboys close into the final minutes, but can’t get a win. There’s a name for teams like that…Oh, yeah: Losers. [+1]
30. Kansas City Chiefs [1-4]: All future Chiefs games to be pre-empted on television by re-runs of “Dharma and Greg.” [-1]
31. Detroit Lions [0-4]: Matt Millen is gone but his legacy of crapitude lives on. [NC]
32. St. Louis Rams [0-4]: As bye week did not result in the usual 40-point loss, Rams management is lobbying the league office for 10 or 12 more bye weeks this year. Network TV execs are expected to support the petition. [NC]